I am the Walrus...Hoo-ahh!

Wow, unexpected criticism from GDL regarding the actual use of sentences and paragraphs. I didn't believe the anyone had the ability to write about blatant Brady Quinn homophobia in Haiku. However, GDL proved me wrong and I applaud him. Since I forgot the average American maintains a non-porn attention span of about 3.2 seconds, I will now write about widely varying topics in one-two sentence paragraphs involving words with no more than two syllables. How the FUCK can Americans spend hours playing Second Life or Spore and not even read three paragraphs of written text?

Some worthless thoughts from the first half of the day...

1) I hate when Girls (and Guys included) are in relationships with same-gender, platonic friends on Facebook. Homosexual and heterosexual couples aside, the relationship-friend status is not funny, is never funny, and will never be funny. Stop. Now.

2) I am about to watch Heat for the first time. What happened to Val Kilmer? How do you go from playing Batman to playing walrus?

2a) Alicia Silverstone is unattractive.

3) Jennifer Connelly is a hottie. Which is why I will see the panned The Day The Earth Stood Still. Even the Heroin-addicted Jennifer Connelly in Requiem for a Dream, I would bring home to meet my parents.

4) My home is in the Northeast and we just experienced a three day power outage. The staggering amount of depression and disilusionment showed the hopelessness of society, which is why I watch post-apocalyptic movies (30 Days of Night, Dawn of the Dead, Doomsday, Reign of Fire). Laugh now, when the shit hits fan, I will be busy surviving.

4a) I love Netflix. For 8.99, I can watch shitty movies for an entire month.

4b) 8 P.M. on AMC - Reign of Fire starring Christian Bale and Matthew McConaughey. Instant Classic.

5) What have I seen recently: The Skulls, The Game, Heat, X-Files: I Want to Believe, Fred Claus, Charlie Wilson's War, Horton Hears a Who. Solid list.

5a) I need a better hobby. Is watching movies even considered a hobby? Probably not. Shit.

- Joshua "Ought to Quit Acting" Jackson